A Series of Unfortunate Events: Anguish Alley
by KitsyKat13
Summary: Another miserable chapter in the young Baudelaire's lives. New guardian, but will that stop Olaf from finding them again? Will he capture them? Will they escape? (First Story)


A Series of Unfortunate Events: Anguish Alley

This story is based on A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. They are his characters, and I give him full credit for the concept of the Baudelaire children.

Note: This story takes place after the Bad Beginning (Book the 1st) events. In a brief description I will tell you the miserable things that the Baudelaire orphans encountered. If finding out that your parents died in a terrible fire that destroyed your home, and all of its belongings isn't bad enough, the children had to live with an evil man named Count Olaf. He plotted to marry Violet, the eldest Baudelaire, in order to get his filthy hands on their enormous fortune. Violet (14), Klaus (12), and Sunny (3) still lie awake at night, terrified that Count Olaf, or one of his wretched associates (The hook-handed man, the bald man with the long nose, the huge person who looks neither a man nor a woman, and the two powder-faced women) would come back and find them. It was in the Baudelaire's greatest hopes to find that their next guardian and experience would not be as frightful as their last.

Within the pages of this story you will find a bunch of dreadful things that the Baudelaire orphans confronted. So… if you're not up for a heapful of misery and woe, then you should put these pages down and I recommend finding something else more joyful to read.

As the siblings awaited Mr. Poe, the always coughing banker, to drive them to their new home, they were wondering about what their new guardian and home would be like.

The youngsters were still saddened at the death of their parents. It was a complete mystery how their mansion could have been engulfed in flames, especially since they had a state-of-the-art Fire and Security System. The police had told the youngsters their parents had died in their sleep, because the fire alarm hadn't gone off. 

"What's our new guardian's name, and relation to us, Mr. Poe?" Klaus, the male middle Baudelaire asked, with a noticeable amount of tension in his voice. The two Baudelaire girls (Sunny and Violet) could tell that Klaus was worried about Count Olaf, and they were too.

"Her name is Joanne" Mr. Poe said as he stopped for a long, dry cough. "And she is a third cousin twice removed, or a second cousin three times removed, I can't remember which."

"Gagabijun?" Sunny asked, which mean something like "How much longer until we're there?"

Violet understood and translated Sunny's baby-talk for Mr. Poe.

He answered with "In about ten minutes, traffic isn't good this morning."

About ten minutes later they arrived at a dark, filthy-looking apartment building at the end of a sinister looking alley. They couldn't believe their eyes and even Mr. Poe didn't seem very impressed. It was the ugliest place they had ever seen.

"I wish I could come in with you, children, but the banking day has already begun, and I need to rush to Mulctuary Money Management. I imagine my phone is ringing off the hook. Joanne's apartment number is B23. Good luck Baudelaire's, if there's any problems, you know where to contact me. Be on your best behavior!" Since that was probably the longest speech Mr. Poe would, will, and could give without having a fit of coughing, the three siblings could hear him hacking, even from a block away.

They stood at the sidewalk, staring up at the building, each of them thinking of how much they didn't want to live there. But, they realized, anything was better than living with Count Olaf.

The enormous trees lining the gravelly path to the worn-out building felt like giants closing in on them as they very bravely stumbled up the path. At the end of the pathway they climbed the creaky wooden stairs. Violet pressed the button with "B23" on it, and a lady who they figured to be Joanne answered. She sounded like a wonderful person, which lightened the children's mood. But I'm sorry to say that the children would not be living with her very long. She buzzed them in, and when one stood in the doorway, one could see a narrow staircase leading upstairs, and one going down.

"The 'B' must mean basement, so we'll need to go down and find apartment number 23. I suppose it's all downhill from here." Klaus reflected aloud, with a faint but forced smile.

At once the orphans set off down the staircase. They might have been mistaken for Mr. Poe as they coughed so much from the dust in the stairwell. They wandered the hallway and found the apartment they were looking for. Violet knocked twice and it almost instantly swung open. In the doorway stood a short, plump woman with short, grey curly hair. She was wearing a dress made in a print of bright pink daises. But the thing Violet, Klaus and Sunny noticed most was her smile. It was nice, but huge. Almost too nice and so big that it was frightening, if that's possible. However, it was quite refreshing to see another face other than the villainous Olaf.

"Come in! Come in! You poor dears! You must be so nervous and scared!" Joanne exclaimed as she ushered them inside. The apartment was surprisingly pleasant, considering where it was located. The only complaint the orphans had was that is smelled strongly of flowers. Joanne had flowers everywhere. It almost smelled as bad as those appalling flowers at Mr. Poe's house. The children remembered the unbearable smell from when they lived at Mr. Poe's house for a short time while he found them a guardian.

"Oh no, we're fine. It's very nice to meet you. My name is Violet Baudelaire, this is my brother, Klaus and my sister, Sunny." Violet said, introducing her family, being as polite as she could. Klaus and Sunny gave a nod as if to say "Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Joanne was a big talker. She talked almost all the time. In fact, the only time the orphans didn't hear her talk was when she was either sleeping or at work; she worked at a greenhouse downtown.

When Joanne left for work the next day the children were relieved in a way, but also utterly bored. She obviously didn't have any children or a spouse so that could have explained her over-joyed behavior when they arrived. She had no pictures on the walls of family, just flowers. It seemed as if flowers were her life. Plus, she had no games, no books (any good ones) or anything at all to do. Or at least anything that interested the youngsters. There wasn't anything that Violet could use to make an invention, so she never bothered to tie her hair up in a ribbon to keep her hair out of her face, as she so often did when thinking up an invention. Klaus didn't have many resources to research things, except for a computer which looked as old as the apartment building. And worse, Sunny didn't have anything to bite, which was her favorite thing to do.

Later that day when Joanne got home, she started talking again. The children took it is as "blah blah blah", rather than talking. It is very rude thing to ignore someone, but in this case the children couldn't help it.

Joanne made Spaghetti O's for dinner that night. Joanne treated them all like toddlers. Sunny didn't mind since she was actually a toddler, but Klaus and Violet found it a little irritating. The children were sent to bed at 8:00 PM, which was too early in their opinion, but they didn't argue because they didn't see the point of staying up if they had nothing to do.

The children had to share a room, since there weren't enough rooms for each of them to have one. Luckily they didn't mind as they enjoyed each other's company.

It was the middle of the night when Violet awoke, hearing quiet rustling. Being as silent as she could, she woke up Klaus. He woke with a start, but understood what Violet meant when she placed a finger on her lip, and then pointed to her ear as if to say " Sshhhh! Be quiet, and listen closely!" The noise got closer and closer, and then suddenly stopped. A few moments later they heard a door creak open, or closed, they weren't sure which. Violet and Klaus waited in their room for a while longer, and they figured the door had closed, since the noise ceased after that. The two children decided to search the apartment for clues of what the noise could have possibly been. They didn't wake Sunny up though, as she was only an infant and they didn't want to terrify her. The two looked and looked for what seemed like all night, but couldn't find a trace of anything. They gave up and finally went back to bed, thinking they would try again tomorrow.

When the children awoke they were surprised to see that it was late morning and Joanne had already left. She left an assortment of cereals on the kitchen counter. They were all hungry and poured themselves some breakfast, and decided to give Mr. Poe a call to tell him they were doing well.

After they had finished breakfast Klaus looked in the phonebook for the number of Mulctuary Money Management. Klaus found it and read the number to Violet. Violet began dialing, and put the receiver up to her ear, hearing a crackling noise in the background of the ringing. She slammed it down, afraid of the noise. Klaus and Sunny tried asking her what she had heard, but she didn't answer them because she was deep in thought. She thought and thought until her head hurt. She thought about what could be making that noise… All of her knowledge of electrical systems came back to her, and she knew, she knew at once what it was. It was a "bug", a device that people put into phones when they wanted to secretly listen in on conversations.

"Someone must have bugged this phone, Klaus!" Violet said in a hushed tone, feeling as if she were being watched. "That was probably someone installing it when we heard those strange sounds in the apartment last night."

Klaus and Sunny looked horrified. Klaus picked up the phone and listened, and sure enough he heard the crackling noise too. Klaus was thinking, just as Violet had done, when he came to the conclusion that he needed to do a bit of research about the bug. The only way he could do the research would be to somehow fix the computer. 

"Violet, do you think you could fix that computer for me? I need to do a bit of research." Klaus said, with a determined look on his face. 

"How can you be thinking of research at a time like this, Klaus? Somebody is spying on us!" Violet whispered as she tried to stay calm. 

"Please, I need the computer to help us! Just try and fix it?" Klaus asked 

"Okay, okay. I'll try and repair it, but no guarantees." Violet said, still doubting whether Klaus was out of his mind or not.

Violet tinkered away at the contents within the computer and found a lot of dust. There were wires that weren't hooked up right, too. She was glad that she didn't need any tools because there wasn't any available. Violet finally got it starting up, but it took several minutes since the computer was so slow. Klaus took over immediately. 

Violet and Sunny left Klaus to his business, and they sat on the flower-printed couch and looked out of the window at the top of the wall, since it was the basement apartment. When one looked out of the window, one could see the dismal ground of Anguish Alley, which made the children feel even more uneasy about their current situation. 

"I've got it!" Klaus screeched abruptly.

"You've got what?" Violet asked, startled since it had been silent (except for the revving computer modem) for quite some time.

"I think I know who bugged our phone, and how to get the mechanism out. Count Olaf has to be behind this, I know it. Violet, about the phone, you'll need to take it apart. If and when you find something, tell me and I might be able to recognize what it is. I think he has put some sort of security system in this place, to keep an eye on our every move. In the mean time, Sunny, you and I will look around for a camera because I think he's put in one of them also." Klaus said. He was happy with his findings, but at the same time terrified of Olaf. The Baudelaire women felt the same way.  
"That's a lot of information, Klaus, but great work nonetheless. Lets get going, shall we?" Violet said, giving up the whispering realizing it did no good nor harm.

She rose from the flowered chesterfield, ready to disassemble the telephone. The youngsters were petrified of finding out whether Olaf was really near. But they knew they had to figure out Count Olaf's plans in order to prevent themselves from falling into his clutches. 

"Frejip!" Sunny shrieked, pointing to a small hole drilled into one of the main walls. Klaus examined the hole very carefully and concluded that it was concealing a hidden camera. Klaus managed to locate a pair of tweezers that he used to anchor the lens and pull it out. His "invention" worked and colorful wires pulled out following the lens. Sunny used her four sharp teeth to cut the wires free from the wall.

"Klaus, I think I found something, come here and see." Violet stammered. She felt as if she was getting closer to finding the culprit, and she was right.

"Coming…… Yeah! That's got to be it! Good work Violet!" Klaus said while walking towards Violet. Violet showed him a device that looked like a circular battery, often found in watches. Klaus showed her what he had found, and she congratulated him, just as he had done for her. 

"Yes, I can't believe we didn't notice these. Olaf is probably behind this scheme, who else could it be? But the scary thing about this is, is that we don't know where he could be…" Violet shuddered at what they had found out.

"I must say, I am surprised you dim-witted orphans found out that I was behind that security system, and so soon." Count Olaf cackled. He was smiling smugly at the door way.

Violet, Klaus and Sunny looked haunted when they saw Olaf standing at the door wearing a ridiculous Janitor disguise.

He had on a dark grey jumpsuit with a nametag that read "Sven" The jumpsuit was too short and big for him. He was tall and gangly and the children figured that he stole it from a chubby, short man named Sven. He had knee-socks pulled up over the tattoo of an eye on his ankle. And to cover up his one, long eyebrow he had a backwards baseball cap, matching the same sickly, gloomy grey color of his coveralls.

"How did you get in here, Olaf?" Violet cried.

"I'm the janitor and I have the keys to every apartment in this building. You know, for claiming to be such smart children, you're actually quite dull", Olaf retorted.

"Oh, this is rich. I must say you look surprised, really. Not only am I clever, I am handsome. What's the matter, children? You're acting pompous." He said, frowning at the fearful children.

Klaus, Violet, and even Sunny laughed at his improper use of "pompous" He had also used it incorrectly when they lived in his house, if you called that dump a house.

Violet was thinking in her head about all of the miserable things she and her family (or at least what was left of it) had gone through. She thought about the fire and that if only the stupid alarm had gone off in time then they wouldn't be here. Instead they were facing the person who they hated most. They wished they were at home, with their loving parents. Violet thought and thought, just like she had done when she thought about the crackling telephone. Something didn't make sense about the security system at the Baudelaire mansion. It hadn't gone off at their home, yet there had to be someone skilled enough to disable it. And who had put the surveillance devices at the apartment? Then it struck Violet: Count Olaf must have killed their parents!

"You killed them! You killed our parents! Murderer!" Violet shouted, on the verge of tears.

"Violet, Violet, Violet." Olaf said, in a sly voice "Once again you succeed to enlighten me by figuring my plans out. How do you do it? Those rich snobs didn't deserve one penny of what they had. You and your precious siblings will die, too, but all in good time. Ahh, speaking of good time, here comes my associate with this dumpy woman you call 'Joanne' "

The words of Count Olaf stung. They were so terrible. The orphans had been strong up until this point but they couldn't hold back the tears any longer, they were all sobbing.

The hook-handed man walked into the doorway, a hook at Joanne's throat. 

"Joanne!" the children cried simultaneously.

Joanne didn't speak in case the hook-handed man dared swipe his hook across her throat.

"Yes children. Your poor Joanne will be a very sweet treat indeed to the fish at the bottom of a lake, when I'm done with her. You can spare her life if you just come with me." Count Olaf said, his eyes shining as if he just found a great big treasure chest full of gold. In a way, he had, because if he had the Baudelaire's, he also had their fortune.

"Just let her go!" Klaus cried as he and his siblings moved towards Olaf. When they were just close enough, he snatched them. The children did not want Joanne to be harmed, but they realized just how much they did not want to be with Count Olaf when he had grabbed hold of them. 

The hook-handed man pushed Joanne to the ground, and that was the last the children saw of her because the next thing they knew they were being dragged up the basement stairs. It was dark outside and they put up a struggle as they were pushed into a car that resembled a hearse. Olaf's comrade was driving the car, the unbelievably husky person who looked neither a man nor a woman.

"I've got you now, Baudelaire's. So just sit back and relax, and let me tell you what's in store next." Count Olaf proposed as he smiled an evil, yellow-toothed grin. The pitch-black car's tires screeched as it raced down Anguish Alley, driving the youngsters further toward the next miserable event in their miserable young lives.


End file.
